Week 19!

Challenge:
The other day I scolded Havana and Jonah for disobeying and a few minutes later I overheard Havana say, "Hey Jonah, let's go into the kitchen and make mama happy."  While her heart was so pure and sweet, I felt convicted that I have not been correcting my children the way I should be. While I do my best never to raise my voice or say hurtful words in the correction process - I do tell my children that when they disobey that makes mommy sad. Yet, in actuality, their obedience (or lack there of) should have nothing to do with pleasing me, but rather pleasing the Lord.

Instead of saying, "Mommy is disappointed in that unwise decision." I should be pointing out how that decision was in direct disobedience to what the Word of God says and leave my personal feelings out of it. I want to teach my children to have a fear of God rather than a fear of man. I want them to seek the approval of God and not men. In order to accomplish that I am going to have to remove myself out of the disciplining and use solely the Word of God. It is, after all, good for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16) and so really that (coupled with a lot of prayer) should be my only tool when explaining what is right and wrong.

While this is a good rule to live by while my children are younger - I began thinking about what it will look like as they grow older. I pictured chatting on the phone with my adult daughter, and I can only pray that I will be able to encourage her about the things that are of the Lord and the lifestyles that are consistent with the Word of God. If she is making a decision that is not in line with His Word, I hope that I will be a mother who can lovingly speak the Truth into her life instead of letting her figure it out or emphasizing her happiness. The best way to achieve those goals is to start now using Scripture as my only standard. I don't want my children to obey for my happiness, but because it is what the Lord has asked them to do.

Dear Lord, I am so sorry for the times when I don't get things right in parenting. I thank You for Your unending grace and Your perfect example. Help me be a parent who teaches my children the benefits of obeying You. Please remove my own pride and emotions from the disciplining process and help me instruct them using Your perfect Word. In Jesus Name. Amen.   

For the Love of My Children:
Father God, I thank You for my children. I know that they are gifts from You (Psalm 127:3) and I pray that I will always treat them as such. May You fulfill Your purpose for them (Psalm 138:8) in ways I can't even comprehend. I know that You are able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20) and, being confident of that, I ask that my children would set an example for all believers through their speech, life, love, faith, and purity (1 Timothy 4:12). May my children be well favored, skillful, wise, and used by You to teach others (Daniel 1:4). I pray that my children will always have a clear conscious before You and that they will desire to live honorably in every way (Hebrews 13:18). May my children's delight be in You alone (Psalm 37:4). I pray these things boldly in the name of Christ. Amen.  

Week 18!

Challenge:A few months ago, I went in to get Havana up from her nap and I discovered that she had gotten her diaper rash cream everywhere! It was on her walls, on her sheets, on her toys, on her clothes, and in her hair. I immediately put her in the bath and had to use vinegar and dish soap to get it out of her hair. Her skin remained white for about 24 hours. After washing her sheets and stuffed animals I noticed that they were stained. It took about two days for me to wipe all the cream off of the walls. Her clothes came out of the wash still smelling of Desitin. I was frustrated about it and as I was changing her sheets the Lord stopped me and asked, "Does this diaper cream fiasco hold any eternal weight?" "No, Lord." "Then let it go."
I don't know about you, but sometimes I can focus on things that don't matter eternally. I grumble about sheets having a white stain or the fact I had to give my daughter a bath in vinegar, but neither of those should eat up any of my emotional and parental energy because they hold no eternal weight. It's just diaper cream. Now, if Havana had directly disobeyed me and had gotten into the cream despite my instruction not to, then my daughter's heart would have some issues we would need to deal with because she would not be in accordance with Scripture. However, that wasn't the case for this situation and so I needed to let it go.
I didn't realize at the time, but the Lord was preparing me for what was going to happen a few days later. I painted Selah's toes in front of Havana. I had asked her if she wanted her toes painted as well and she said no. Not thinking much of it I moved on about my day. Yet, later, Havana tried to paint her own toes (while I was in another room) and spilled an entire bottle of RED nail polish on our beige carpet. Talk about a big, gigantic, permanent stain. I tried everything to clean it up, but nothing helped. It is still there and will be until we get new carpet (which is years up the road). I had to breath in deeply and then say, "this holds no eternal weight" -- and like that, my new red carpet was no big deal. Thank You, Lord. :).

My challenge, then, is to be conscious of my corrections and encouragements. Are they over the things that matter in eternity? If not, they don't need my praise or my correction... I need to save my energy and focus in parenting to the things that matter to my child's soul. Correcting disobedience, helping them overcome sin, helping them fall in love with Christ, and teaching them to serve and love others... those are big deals. Stained carpet, spilled milk, successful career, or full ride college scholarship... those are not big deals.
Dear God, so many times I can focus on what doesn't matter - the outward appearance or action, but You look at the heart (Samuel 16:7) and I pray that I would do the same. Teach me, Lord, what holds eternal weight and what does not. Help me differentiate what is worth my energy and focus and what I need to let go of. I pray that I would be less controlled by the flesh and more led by the Spirit as I parent my wonderful children. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Prayer: Lord, I pray that You would teach my children about Yourself. I pray that You would teach them about Your power and Your might. I pray that they will know that Your name is the LORD (Jeremiah 16:21). May my children experience first hand that among all the gods in the world, there is none like You; no deeds can compare with Yours (Psalm 86:8). I pray that they would never turn to anything in this world to fulfill them, but that they would know that wine will betray them, arrogance with bring them no rest, and greed will never satisfy (Habakkuk 2:5). In the name of Jesus, I ask that my children would never become an enemy of You by having a friendship with this world (James 4:4), but instead I pray that my children will be a servant of Christ Jesus, called and set apart for the Gospel of God just as Paul was (Romans 1:1). May the God-shaped hole in their lives be filled with nothing other than Your incredible Holy Spirit. In the name of Jesus I ask these things. Amen.